Inger Douglas, Author at D’Veal Family and Youth Services

A parent sitting with their child at the kitchen table after school, sharing a snack and talking.

August 25, 2026

School Already Started — So Why Is Your Child Still So Anxious?

By D’Veal Communications Team

Two weeks ago, Maria thought the hard part was over. First-day photos were taken. Backpacks were packed. Her son walked into his classroom without a single tear.

Then week two hit. The stomachaches came back. Bedtime turned into a battle again. Sunday night, he asked her, out of nowhere, if he could just stay home “one more day.”

If your child has been back in school for a week or two and the anxiety hasn’t faded the way you expected, you’re not doing anything wrong, and neither is your child. For some kids, the nerves show up on day one and fade fast. For others, the real adjustment period starts once the newness wears off and the routine becomes real. That’s actually when a few specific things can make the biggest difference.

Here’s what helps now that school is already underway.

Get the Sleep Schedule Fully Locked In

If bedtime is still a little loose two weeks in, that’s worth fixing first. A child running on six hours of sleep is going to feel every other stressor more intensely, from a hard math worksheet to a friend who seemed distant at lunch.

Look honestly at what’s actually happening at 9 p.m. Is your child still up later than you’d like because homework runs long, or because bedtime has quietly slipped back toward the summer schedule? Tighten it up this week. A consistent bedtime and wake time, even on weekends, gives an anxious nervous system one less thing to manage.

Point Out What’s Already Going Right

Here’s something a lot of parents miss once school has started: the unknown that felt so scary in August is now known. Your child has met the teacher. They know where the bathroom is. They’ve found at least one classmate to sit near at lunch.

Say it out loud. “You didn’t know where your classroom was three weeks ago, and now you walk right to it.” “Remember how nervous you were about the new teacher? You know her now.”

Anxious kids tend to stay stuck in the fear they felt before something happened, even after the thing itself turns out to be manageable. Naming what’s already familiar helps their brain catch up to reality.

Name the Feeling Before They Have To

Children don’t always have the words for what they’re feeling, especially when the feeling doesn’t make obvious sense to them either. If your child is grumpy after school, clingy in the morning, or oddly quiet at dinner, try naming it for them: “It sounds like something about today felt hard. That makes sense.”

You’re not telling your child how to feel. You’re helping them find the words. Just knowing a feeling has a name, and that it’s normal, can take some of the weight off.

Avoid “don’t worry” or “everything’s fine.” Even said gently, those words can make a child feel like being nervous is the wrong response. Try instead: “It’s okay to feel nervous. I’m here when you get home, and you can tell me about it.”

Protect the After-School Landing

The hour after school is doing more work than most parents realize, especially three or four weeks in, when the newness has worn off and the day-to-day grind has set in. Your child has spent six or seven hours managing their emotions in front of other people. By pickup, the tank is empty.

A predictable after-school routine works like a decompression chamber. A snack, some quiet time before homework starts, a few minutes where nothing is being asked of them. It doesn’t need to be elaborate. It needs to happen the same way most days.

Kids who know what to expect after school regulate faster, and they’re more likely to actually tell you about their day once the pressure is off. That relaxed, snack-time window is often when the real information comes out, not during the “how was school” question at the door.

Stay the Calm One

This is the hardest one, and it matters even more once school has been in session for a few weeks and the patience is wearing thin on both sides. When your child is anxious, your own nervous system will want to match theirs. Do the opposite.

You don’t have to fix the anxiety or argue your child out of it. Stay steady. Slow your voice down. Keep your body relaxed, even when the fifth “I don’t want to go” of the week is testing you.

Children take their emotional cues from the adults nearby, and a calm parent is telling their nervous system, without a single word, that this is manageable.

When It’s Been More Than a Few Weeks

For most children, some combination of routine, patience, and a calm parent gets them through the adjustment. But if it’s been three weeks or more and your child’s anxiety isn’t easing, or it’s interfering with sleep, friendships, or their ability to get through the school day, that’s worth a closer look.

Watch for anxiety that’s holding steady or getting worse instead of gradually fading, mornings that involve real resistance to going at all, or signs of withdrawal and low mood that go beyond typical back-to-school jitters. Those are signals it’s time for more support, not signs that you or your child are failing at something everyone else has figured out.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services provides individual therapy, family therapy, parent coaching, and school-based support for children and youth across the San Gabriel Valley. Services are delivered in homes, schools, and community settings by licensed therapists who work specifically with children and families.

“Insert Quote Here”

D’Veal Family and Youth Services serves children and families throughout the San Gabriel Valley.

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org — no referral or diagnosis needed to start the conversation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal for back-to-school anxiety to last more than a week or two?

Yes, for some children. A first day can go smoothly and the real adjustment can still take several weeks, especially for kids starting a new school, a new grade level, or facing a change like a new teacher or new classmates.

My child seemed fine the first week and now seems worse. What's going on?

This happens more often than parents expect. The excitement or adrenaline of a new start can carry a child through the first few days before the routine sets in and the anxiety catches up. It doesn't mean something went wrong.

How do I know if this is more than normal adjustment?

Look at the pattern, not just one hard day. If it's been three weeks or more with no real improvement, or if it's affecting sleep, friendships, or your child's ability to get through the school day, it's worth reaching out for support.

Can these strategies still help if my child has struggled with anxiety before?

Yes, often more than most. Kids with a history of anxiety or big emotional reactions tend to respond well to predictable routines and a calm parent presence. Pairing that with professional support, if needed, tends to work best.

By Inger Douglas

A parent walks their child into school on the first day, holding hands and smiling reassuringly.

Publications

August 6, 2026

Is Your Child’s “First Day” Worry Normal — or Something More?

By D’Veal Communications Team

Most back-to-school jitters fade on their own. Here’s how to know when they don’t — and what to do next.

The backpacks are bought. The school supply list is checked off twice. And somewhere between the new shoes and the first-day photo, your child says the thing every parent dreads hearing: “I don’t want to go.”

For most kids, a little back-to-school nervousness is completely normal — even healthy. New teachers, new classrooms, and a new social landscape are a lot to take in, and some butterflies simply mean your child cares about doing well. But for other kids, that nervous energy doesn’t fade after the first week. It grows into stomachaches on school mornings, tears at drop-off, or a quiet dread that follows them into September and beyond.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we’ve spent more than 30 years working with children and families across the San Gabriel Valley. Under the leadership of founder and CEO John McCall, our team has walked alongside thousands of families through exactly this kind of uncertainty — the not-knowing-if-this-is-normal moment. This article is here to help you find that answer.

Why the Start of School Stirs Up So Much Worry

Kids don’t just adjust to a new grade — they adjust to a new routine, a new set of expectations, and often a new set of relationships all at once. For children who already tend to worry, transitions like this can bring anxiety to the surface more visibly than usual. That’s true whether a child is starting kindergarten, moving into middle school, or simply facing a classroom where their best friend isn’t assigned this year.

It isn’t only kids who feel it. Parents often carry their own stress about schedules, routines, and homework returning after a loosely structured summer — and children are remarkably good at picking up on that tension, even when we think we’re hiding it well.

The encouraging news: for the majority of children, this spike in worry is temporary. With the right support at home, most kids settle in within the first few weeks.

Normal Nervousness vs. Anxiety That Needs a Closer Look

This is the question we hear most from parents every August: How do I know if this is just nerves, or something more?

Typical back-to-school worry is usually connected to something specific — a new teacher, a harder subject, a friend who moved away. It shows up as mild clinginess or a few butterflies on the first morning. And it eases once your child settles into a routine, usually within the first couple of weeks.

What may need a closer look looks different. It lasts well past the first month. It shows up as recurring stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause. It leads to your child begging to stay home, crying at drop-off day after day, or refusing to go altogether. And it tends to touch more than one part of life — sleep, appetite, friendships, mood at home — not just how they feel on the walk into school.

If what you’re seeing sounds more like the second description, that isn’t a sign you’ve done anything wrong as a parent. It’s a sign your child could use some extra support finding their footing.

What This Can Look Like at Different Ages

Back-to-school anxiety doesn’t show up the same way in every child, and knowing what’s typical for your child’s age can help you respond well.

Younger children, especially those starting preschool or kindergarten, often express anxiety through separation — clinging at drop-off, crying when a parent leaves, or asking repeatedly whether you’re coming back. This is a normal developmental response, not a sign that something is wrong.

Elementary-age kids may worry about specific things: a new teacher, whether they’ll have friends in their class, or whether they’ll keep up academically. Their anxiety often comes out in questions — sometimes the same question asked over and over — more than tears.

Tweens and teens tend to internalize their worry. Instead of talking about what’s bothering them, they may become irritable, withdrawn, or unusually quiet about their day. Social pressure and academic expectations weigh more heavily at this age, and teens are often less likely to bring their worries to a parent unprompted.

You know your child better than anyone. If something feels off — and it’s lasted a while, and it’s touching more than one part of their life — that instinct is worth following.

A Few Things That Help, Right Now

You don’t have to wait for a problem to appear before you start helping. Listening before problem-solving makes a real difference — when your child shares a worry, acknowledging what they’re feeling (“That sounds like a lot to think about”) often calms anxiety more than reassurance does. Familiarity helps too: a walk-through of the school or a chance to meet the teacher ahead of time turns the unknown into something known. And noticing the wins — a specific, genuine “You handled that really well” after a hard morning — builds confidence for the next day.

For a fuller list of practical steps you can start today, see our companion piece, 5 Things You Can Do Right Now to Ease Your Child’s Back-to-School Anxiety, on the D’Veal blog.

When It’s Time to Reach Out

Most back-to-school worry fades with time, patience, and a little extra reassurance. But if your child’s anxiety is intense, lasts more than a few weeks, or is interfering with their ability to function — at school, at home, or with friends — it may be time to bring in additional support.

This is especially true if your child develops a pattern of physical symptoms tied to school mornings, begins refusing to attend altogether, or seems persistently sad, withdrawn, or on edge well beyond the usual adjustment period. These patterns don’t mean something is wrong with your child. They mean your child’s nervous system needs some help learning that school is a safe place to be — and that’s exactly the kind of support we’re here for.

D’Veal provides individual and family therapy, school-based mental health services, and early intervention for children ages 0–20, delivered in homes, schools, and community settings throughout the San Gabriel Valley by licensed therapists. D’Veal holds The Joint Commission’s Gold Seal of Approval® for Behavioral Health Care — earned for the third consecutive triennial — so families can trust that the care they receive meets nationally recognized standards of safety and effectiveness.

You don’t need a diagnosis, a referral, or a crisis to reach out. You just need to trust what you’re seeing.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services has been supporting children and families in the San Gabriel Valley since 1993.

If back-to-school worry is more than a phase this year, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is it normal for back-to-school anxiety to last?

Mild anxiety that fades within the first two to three weeks of school is generally within the normal range. If it intensifies, spreads into other areas of your child's life, or hasn't improved after a month, that's worth a closer look.

What are the signs my child's school anxiety needs professional support?

Watch for anxiety that lasts more than a few weeks, physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause, refusal to attend school, or a persistent shift in mood, sleep, or appetite. Any of these are a signal to reach out to a professional.

Is separation anxiety at drop-off normal for young children?

Yes. Clinginess and tears at drop-off are a normal developmental response for many preschool and kindergarten-age children, especially in the first weeks of a new school year. It typically eases as your child builds familiarity with the new routine.

What should I do if my child refuses to go to school?

School refusal tends to worsen the longer it goes unaddressed, since avoidance reinforces the anxiety behind it. Reach out to your child's school and consider contacting a mental health professional. D'Veal can help you navigate this — call (626) 296-8900.

What children's mental health services does D'Veal offer?

D'Veal Family and Youth Services provides individual and family therapy, school-based mental health services, parent coaching, and early intervention for children and youth ages 0–20 across the San Gabriel Valley, delivered in homes, schools, and community settings.

How do I get my child support through D'Veal?

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org. You don't need a referral or a diagnosis to reach out — D'Veal serves families throughout the San Gabriel Valley regardless of where they are in the process.

By Inger Douglas

Wondering what that first call is really like? D’Veal Family and Youth Services walks San Gabriel Valley parents through what to expect — no diagnosis or referral needed.

Publications

July 26, 2026

What Actually Happens When You Reach Out for Help

D’Veal Communication Team

Demystifying that first call, and why so many families say they wish they’d made it sooner.

Most parents who come to D’Veal say some version of the same thing after their first few weeks with us: I wish we had called sooner.

It’s not because the process was hard. It’s because they’d built up an idea of what asking for help would look like, and the reality was nothing like it.

Here’s what actually happens.

Why “I Wish We Had Called Sooner” Comes Up So Often

It’s not that the process turns out to be easy, exactly. It’s that the version families imagine beforehand, an intake form, a stiff conversation, a judgment about their parenting, almost never matches what actually happens.

Most families tell us the hardest part was picking up the phone. Everything after that felt more like relief than dread.

The Fear Behind the Hesitation

For a lot of parents, reaching out feels like admitting defeat. Like they should have been able to handle it themselves, or like getting a therapist involved means something is seriously wrong.

There’s also the practical worry. Will my child feel singled out? Will this become a label that follows them? Will I have to explain things I’m not ready to explain to a stranger?

Those fears are real, and they’re also the biggest reason families wait longer than they need to before picking up the phone.

What the First Conversation Looks Like

You don’t need a diagnosis, a referral, or a crisis to call. You just need to say what you’ve been noticing.

From there, our team asks questions, listens, and figures out what kind of support actually fits your family. For some families, that’s individual therapy for a child. For others, it’s family sessions, school-based support, or a mix of everything.

There’s no script you have to follow and nothing you need to have figured out in advance. You’re not being evaluated. You’re being heard.

Why We Come to You

Most families picture therapy as an office visit, a waiting room, a fixed hour once a week. That’s not how D’Veal works.

Our therapists meet families in homes, schools, and community settings across the San Gabriel Valley. Kids open up differently in places they already feel safe, and therapists get to see how a challenge actually plays out in daily life, not just hear about it secondhand.

That difference matters. A child who shuts down in an unfamiliar office might talk freely at their own kitchen table.

“Connection isn’t a luxury in the healing process. It’s the foundation of it.”

What If My Child Doesn’t Want to Talk to Someone?

This comes up constantly, and it’s a fair concern. Plenty of kids, especially teenagers, are not thrilled about the idea of a stranger asking them how they feel.

Part of why we work in familiar settings is exactly this. A kid who would shut down and give one-word answers in a clinical office often opens up on their own front porch or in a room at their own school, because the setting itself feels less like a spotlight.

Resistance at the start is normal, and it’s something our therapists are used to working through. It’s rarely a reason to wait.

The Whole Family Is Part of It

A child’s struggles don’t happen in isolation, and the support shouldn’t either. When parents understand what’s going on and have real tools to respond, progress happens faster and it holds.

That’s why our approach includes parents from the start. Not as bystanders, but as part of the team helping their child get better.

You’re Not Starting From Scratch

D’Veal has worked with families in the San Gabriel Valley since 1993. We’ve earned The Joint Commission’s Gold Seal of Approval® for Behavioral Health Care for the third consecutive triennial, which means the care you receive meets nationally recognized standards for safety and quality.

More than that, our team reflects the communities we serve. Support here is built around your family’s actual life, not a generic program handed to everyone the same way.

What Happens After That First Call

Once you reach out, someone from our team follows up to learn more about your family and match you with the right kind of support, whether that’s a therapist who comes to your home, a school-based counselor, or a combination of services.

From there, it’s less about a fixed program and more about a relationship that adjusts as your family’s needs change. Some families need a few months. Others stay connected longer. Either way, the goal is progress that actually holds, not a checklist to get through.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services serves children and families throughout the San Gabriel Valley.

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org — no referral or diagnosis needed to start the conversation.

Frequently Asked Questions

What happens during the first visit or call?

Our team listens to what you've been noticing and helps figure out what kind of support fits your family. No diagnosis or referral is required to get started.

Do I need a referral to start services with D’Veal?

No. Families can reach out directly by calling (626) 296-8900 or visiting dveal.org.

Will services take place at an office, or somewhere else?

D’Veal provides field-based services in homes, schools, and community settings throughout the San Gabriel Valley, in addition to office-based options.

How is my whole family involved in the process?

D’Veal's approach includes parents and family members throughout treatment, not just the child, because progress holds better when the whole family understands what's happening and has tools to help.

By Inger Douglas

little girl making a list very happy outside in thbackyard in sun

Publications

July 3, 2026

How a Simple Summer Routine Can Help Your Child Feel Better

D’Veal Communication Team

About two weeks into summer, something changes.

The “no alarm clocks” feeling wears off fast. The kids are bored. Or cranky. Or on their third hour of screens and nobody’s happy about it.

And you’re wondering how you ended up here when June started with such good plans.

Here’s what usually happened: summer got too loose. And too loose got hard.

Kids need time to play and rest — they really do. But they also need some kind of shape to their day. Not a packed schedule with every hour planned out. Just enough routine that they know what to expect.

Without that, even kids who are usually easy to manage start to fall apart. And it sneaks up on you before you know what’s happening.

These five simple things can make a big difference.

Pick a Wake-Up Time and Stick to It

Sleep is the base of everything — and summer is really good at messing it up.

Late nights lead to late mornings. Late mornings lead to long, shapeless days. And after a week or two of that, a kid who was doing totally fine during the school year can start to seem off in ways that are hard to figure out.

Pick a wake-up time. It doesn’t have to be early. It just has to be the same every day — weekdays and weekends both. That one thing steadies a lot more than you’d think.

Give the Morning a Simple Shape

Not a schedule. Just a sequence.

Wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, spend a little time outside before the day opens up. Or whatever works for your family. The details don’t matter that much. What matters is that it’s the same every day.

When a kid knows what the first part of the morning looks like, they go into the rest of the day in a much better place. It sets the tone for everything that comes after.

Make Sure They Get Outside Every Day

This one seems too simple. It’s not.

Being outside — even just for twenty minutes — helps kids feel better and act better. It doesn’t have to be organized or productive. Just outside. Fresh air, some movement, something other than the inside of the house.

When outdoor time starts slipping, you’ll usually notice it in their mood and behavior within a few days. It matters more than most people realize.

Have at Least One Time Each Day That’s Just for Connecting

No phones. No agenda. Just time together.

Dinner with the TV off. A short walk after lunch. One real question before bed — not “How was your day?” but something they actually have to think about.

Kids who have a regular moment each day where a parent is fully there are more likely to come to you when something is wrong. That kind of trust gets built in the small everyday moments — not the big ones.

Keep Bedtime Consistent

A little flexibility in summer is fine. Drifting an hour or more every night is not.

Kids build up sleep debt fast — and it doesn’t show up as tiredness. It shows up as attitude, meltdowns, and big reactions to small things. By the time you connect it to the sleep, it’s already been a problem for a while.

A simple wind-down before bed — phones off, the same few things every night — tells their brain it’s time to slow down. That’s really all it needs to be.

When a Routine Isn’t Enough

Some families do all of this — and something still feels off.

That’s not a failure. That’s a signal.

If your child has been struggling for more than two weeks — mood changes, pulling away, big reactions, anxiety that keeps getting louder — it may be time to talk to someone.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services works with families in exactly this situation. And if you’re trying to figure out whether what you’re seeing is serious, our other post — 5 Signs Your Child May Be Struggling This Summer — can help you sort through it.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services has been supporting families in the San Gabriel Valley since 1993.

If this summer is harder than it should be, you don’t have to keep troubleshooting alone.

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my child struggle more in summer?

Without school and a set routine, kids lose a lot of the structure that helps them feel okay day to day. Too much unstructured time can lead to boredom, irritability, and emotional struggles — even in kids who usually do well.

How much routine does my child actually need in summer?

Not as much as you might think. A consistent wake-up time, a simple morning sequence, some outdoor time, and a regular bedtime are really all you need. Keep the middle of the day loose and fun.

What if my child refuses to follow any kind of routine?

Start small. Pick one thing — like a wake-up time or daily outdoor time — and hold that consistently for a week before adding anything else. Small wins build from there.

When should I get outside help for my child?

If your child has been struggling emotionally for more than two weeks and it’s not improving, it’s a good time to reach out. D’Veal Family and Youth Services can help. Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org.

By Inger Douglas

5 Signs Your Child May Be Struggling This Summer

Publications

July 1, 2026

5 Signs Your Child May Be Struggling This Summer

D’Veal Communication Team

You didn’t plan for this to be a hard summer.

You pictured lazy mornings, maybe a trip somewhere, a little breathing room. Instead, your child seems off. And you can’t quite figure out why.

Maybe they’re picking fights over nothing. Maybe they’ve gotten really quiet in a way that doesn’t feel like rest. Maybe they’re sleeping way too much, or they haven’t touched a real meal in days.

Here’s what most parents don’t know: kids rarely come to you and say “I’m struggling.” They don’t know how to say it or they’re scared to. So they show it in other ways. Through attitude. Through pulling away. Through behavior that’s hard to deal with before you realize it’s actually a cry for help.

Summer makes this harder to spot. There’s no school, no teachers watching alongside you, no regular routine to show you when something is off. There’s just more time and more room for things to bubble up.

Here are five signs your child may be struggling this summer and what to do when you notice them.

“You don’t have to know exactly what’s wrong to know that something isn’t right.”

1. Their Mood Has Changed — and It Hasn’t Gone Back to Normal

Everybody has bad days. That’s not what this is.

This is a change that moved in and stayed. Your child used to be mostly okay. Now they seem irritable almost all the time. Or sad in a way that doesn’t lift. Or just flat, like something got turned down inside them.

Give it two weeks. If the change has lasted that long and nothing seems to help, that’s worth paying attention to.

2. They’re Pulling Away from People and Things They Used to Love

Pay attention to what’s gone missing.

The friend they used to text all the time who they haven’t mentioned in weeks. The sport or hobby they used to talk about all the time that they’ve gone quiet on. The thing they used to beg you to take them to that they now avoid.

This kind of pulling away doesn’t happen all at once. It’s slow. And because it’s slow, it’s easy to miss or explain away. “They’re just tired.” “It’s summer.” “They’ll snap out of it.”

Maybe. But if it’s been a few weeks and it’s showing up in more than one part of their life, take a closer look.

3. Their Sleep or Appetite Has Really Changed

When kids are going through something hard, their body usually shows it first.

They might sleep way more than normal or they can’t sleep at all. They might stop eating, or start eating a lot more than usual. These things tend to get brushed off in summer. “It’s the heat.” “Their schedule is off.” And sometimes that’s the real reason.

But if the changes have been going on for more than a week or two and nothing explains them, your child’s body may be telling you something their words aren’t.

4. They Keep Saying They Don’t Feel Well — but the Doctor Can’t Find Anything

Stomachaches that keep coming back. Headaches. Feeling sick before they have to do something social or go somewhere they used to like.

This can look like making excuses. Sometimes it is. But a lot of the time, it isn’t.

When kids are dealing with big feelings they can’t explain, those feelings have to go somewhere. A lot of the time, they go right to the stomach or the head. It’s not fake; it’s just what happens when a child is carrying something heavy and doesn’t have the words for it yet.

If a doctor can’t find a reason for the complaints, it’s worth looking at what might be going on emotionally.

5. Small Things Are Setting Them Off in a Big Way

You ask them to do something simple and they lose it. A small change in plans turns into a huge meltdown. You say something totally normal and they shut down like you said the worst thing in the world.

When the reaction is way bigger than the situation, something else is usually going on.

Kids who are overwhelmed run out of room for everyday stuff. The little things hit harder because they’re already carrying too much. What looks like overreacting is often a kid who is just maxed out.

Summer makes this worse. Without the routine of a school day, stress has more time to build up — and less structure to help let it out.

“These signs don’t mean something is broken. They mean your child needs support — and support is available.”

So What Do You Do?

First, don’t panic. And don’t brush it off.

You don’t need to have all the answers before you take a step forward. You just need to trust what you’re seeing.

Start by showing up. Find a calm moment and just check in. “Hey, you’ve seemed a little off lately. I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” No big talk, no pressure — just let them know you noticed and you’re there.

Try to keep a few steady things in their day. A regular bedtime. Meals together. A little time outside. A small amount of routine goes a long way when everything else feels uncertain.

And if what you’re seeing has been going on for more than two weeks, is getting worse, or is starting to affect their friendships or daily life, please reach out. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you ask for help. That’s what we’re here for.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services has been supporting families in the San Gabriel Valley since 1993.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are signs my child is struggling in summer?

Watch for mood changes that last more than two weeks, pulling away from friends or things they used to love, changes in sleep or appetite, physical complaints with no medical cause, and big reactions to small things.

When should I get help for my child?

If the signs have been going on for more than two weeks, are getting worse, or are affecting their friendships or daily life, it's time to reach out. Getting help early makes a big difference.

Is it normal for kids to struggle more in summer?

Yes. Without school and a regular routine, kids lose a lot of the structure that helps them feel okay. Summer is also when parents are home more and start to notice things that were easier to miss before.

What does D'Veal Family and Youth Services offer?

Therapy for kids and families, parent coaching, crisis support, and community programs — all in a welcoming, family-centered environment. Visit dveal.org or call (626) 296-8900 to learn more.

By Inger Douglas

Parent calmly talking with anxious teen at eye level in warm home environment while offering emotional support

Family SupportParentingPublicationsYouth Mental Health

May 26, 2026

The Quiet Signs: How Anxiety Often Hides in Children and Teens

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services Communications Team

Anxiety in children does not always look the way people expect.

Sometimes it looks like anger. Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a child who suddenly “doesn’t care anymore.”

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we often work with families who feel confused by changes in their child’s behavior. A once outgoing child becomes withdrawn. A teen who used to thrive in school suddenly struggles to focus. Arguments become more frequent. Emotional outbursts become harder to manage.

Many parents ask the same question:

“What happened to my child?”

What they may not realize is that beneath the behavior, anxiety is often quietly growing.

And today’s children are carrying more emotional weight than many adults realize.

Anxiety Is Not Always Loud

When people think about anxiety, they often imagine panic attacks or visible nervousness. But anxiety in children and teens can be much harder to recognize.

Some children become irritable or defensive. Others become perfectionists who constantly fear making mistakes. Some withdraw socially, avoid activities they once loved, or complain of headaches and stomachaches with no clear medical explanation.

For many young people, anxiety becomes hidden beneath everyday behavior.

That’s because children often do not yet have the emotional vocabulary to say: “I feel overwhelmed.” “I’m scared.” “I feel pressure all the time.”

So instead, their emotions show up in other ways.

At D’Veal, we encourage families to look beyond the surface and ask: “What might my child be trying to communicate?”

That shift in perspective can change everything.

The Pressure Today’s Youth Are Facing

Children today are growing up in a world that rarely slows down.

There is pressure to perform academically. Pressure to fit in socially. Pressure to appear happy online even when they are struggling emotionally offline.

Social media has created constant comparison. School expectations continue to rise. Many youth are also carrying stress connected to family struggles, community violence, grief, bullying, or uncertainty about the future.

Even highly successful children can silently struggle with anxiety every single day.

The child who gets straight A’s may be terrified of failure. The teen who seems “fine” may feel emotionally exhausted inside. The quiet child may be battling fear they do not know how to explain.

Children are often suffering silently while adults focus only on the behavior they can see.

When Anxiety Shows Up in the Body

One of the most overlooked signs of anxiety is physical symptoms.

Many children experiencing emotional distress complain regularly about:

Stomachaches
Headaches
Trouble sleeping
Fatigue
Changes in appetite
Muscle tension

Families sometimes become frustrated when medical appointments do not provide clear answers. But emotional stress absolutely affects the body.

The nervous system and emotional health are deeply connected.

When anxiety goes unaddressed, children often carry stress physically because they do not yet know how to process it emotionally.

Why Emotional Safety Matters

Children cannot heal in environments where they constantly feel judged, dismissed, or afraid to express emotions.

Healing begins with emotional safety.

That means creating spaces where children know:

Their feelings matter
They can tell the truth without shame
Mistakes do not remove love or support
They do not have to struggle alone

Sometimes the most powerful thing a parent can say is: “I’m here.” “I’m listening.” “We’ll get through this together.”

At D’Veal, we remind families that children do not need perfect parents. They need present ones.

Small Changes That Make a Big Difference

Supporting a child with anxiety does not always require dramatic changes. Often, healing begins with small, consistent moments of connection.

Start Emotional Check-Ins

Instead of asking only: “How was school?”

Try: “What felt stressful today?” “What made you feel proud today?” “What’s something you wish people understood better?”

Simple conversations create emotional trust over time.

Validate Before Correcting

When children feel overwhelmed, immediate criticism often increases emotional shutdown.

Instead of: “You’re overreacting.”

Try: “That sounds really hard.” “I’m glad you told me.”

Validation helps children feel emotionally safe enough to communicate honestly.

Watch for Patterns

Every child has difficult days. But ongoing changes in mood, sleep, appetite, behavior, or motivation may signal something deeper.

Trust your instincts if something feels different.

Model Healthy Coping

Children learn emotional regulation by watching adults.

When caregivers manage stress in healthy ways—through communication, boundaries, self-care, or asking for help—children begin learning those same skills.

A Story Many Families Understand

One teenager came to D’Veal after months of emotional withdrawal and falling grades.

Teachers described him as distracted and unmotivated. At home, tension and arguments became constant. His parents worried he was simply becoming lazy or defiant.

But during counseling, another story emerged.

He was struggling with severe anxiety tied to academic pressure and fear of disappointing everyone around him. He felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally trapped—but didn’t know how to explain it.

Once his family shifted from frustration to understanding, healing began.

Conversations became calmer. Emotional check-ins became routine. Therapy helped him put words to emotions he had buried for months.

Over time, his confidence returned—not because life became perfect, but because he no longer felt alone in what he was carrying.

That is the power of support.

Breaking the Silence Around Youth Mental Health

Many adults grew up in environments where mental health struggles were rarely discussed openly.

Children were often told: “Be strong.” “Stop crying.” “You’ll be fine.”

But avoiding emotional conversations does not make emotional pain disappear.

Today, families have an opportunity to create something healthier: Homes where emotions are acknowledged, support is normalized, and asking for help is viewed as strength—not weakness.

That shift can impact generations.

How D’Veal Family and Youth Services Helps

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we believe healing happens through compassionate connection, culturally responsive care, and strong family support systems.

We provide:

Individual counseling
Family therapy
Parent support and education
Crisis intervention services
Youth mental health resources

Our goal is to help children and families feel seen, supported, and empowered with tools that create lasting emotional wellness.

Final Thoughts

Anxiety in children is often quiet before it becomes loud.

It hides behind behavior, silence, perfectionism, frustration, and emotional withdrawal.

But children should never have to carry emotional struggles alone.

When families learn to recognize the quiet signs of anxiety, they create opportunities for healing, connection, and hope.

And sometimes, one safe conversation can change the direction of a child’s life.

Need Support?

D’Veal Family and Youth Services is here to help children, teens, and families navigate emotional challenges with compassion and care.

Visit: www.dveal.org
Call Us: (626) 869-6602

Together, we can build stronger families, healthier communities, and brighter futures for our youth.

By Inger Douglas

Parent and child having a supportive conversation in a calm home environment

Family SupportParentingPublicationsYouth Mental Health

May 8, 2026

“Now What?”: Practical Ways Parents Can Support Their Child’s Mental Health Every Day

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services

After you notice something is off with your child… then what?

That quiet shift. That feeling that something isn’t quite right. That moment when you realize they may be struggling more than they’re saying.

Awareness is the first step — but it often comes with uncertainty.

“Am I overreacting?” “What do I say?” “What if I say the wrong thing?”

Here’s what we want every parent to know: You don’t need perfect words. You need consistent, intentional presence.

Let Go of the Pressure to Fix It

Many parents feel the urge to solve it fast. To have answers. To make the pain go away.

But children don’t need parents who fix everything. They need parents who stay — even when things feel uncertain.

Support isn’t about control. It’s about connection. And connection happens in small, everyday moments.

When Listening Becomes the Gift

It was a Tuesday evening — the kind where dinner ran late and the house felt like it was running on fumes. Denise’s nine-year-old, Marcus, had been quiet all afternoon, which wasn’t like him.

She almost let it go. But something made her sit down next to him on the couch. Phone face-down. TV off.

“Hey. You good?”

He shrugged — then slowly started talking. About a kid at school who’d said something that stuck with him. About feeling like he didn’t fit in the way he used to.

Denise didn’t jump in to fix it. She waited until he finished each thought.

“Tell me more about that,” she said.

And he did. More than she expected.

When he paused, looking at her like he was checking if she was still with him, she said, “That sounds really hard.”

His shoulders dropped — not in defeat, but in relief.

“I’m here with you,” she told him. Not “it’ll get better.” Not “here’s what you should do.” Just: “I’m here.”

That conversation didn’t solve anything. The kid at school was still going to be there tomorrow. But Marcus went to bed that night knowing his mom saw him. And in behavioral health, we know that feeling seen is the foundation everything else is built on.

Small Habits That Make a Big Difference

You don’t need a complete routine overhaul. Start here:

Daily check-ins — One simple question during a car ride or at dinner: “What was the best part of your day? The hardest?” Consistency matters more than length.
Normalize all emotions — Instead of “You’re fine,” try “It makes sense you feel that way.” It tells your child their feelings belong here.
Model healthy coping — Let them hear you say, “I had a stressful day, so I’m going to take a breath.” They’re always watching.

When to Get More Support

Sometimes your child needs more than you can provide alone — and recognizing that is one of the strongest things a parent can do.

Consider reaching out if you notice ongoing withdrawal, significant mood changes, persistent anxiety, or behaviors that are affecting daily life.

Getting help isn’t a last resort. It’s a proactive choice.

D’Veal Is Here for the Whole Family

We don’t just work with children — we support families. Because real, lasting change happens when everyone is part of the process.

Our services include individual and family therapy, parent coaching, crisis support, and community-based resources just to name a few.

We meet families where they are — and walk with them every step forward.

You’re already doing something right. You’re paying attention. You’re showing up.

That matters more than you know.

Visit: www.dveal.org
Call: (626) 796-3453
Donate to support our mission and help build stronger families.

By Inger Douglas

Parent and child sitting together having a supportive conversation at home

Family SupportParentingPublicationsYouth Mental Health

April 24, 2026

When “Something Feels Off”: A Parent’s Guide to Recognizing and Supporting Youth Mental Health

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services

Introduction

Sometimes, it doesn’t start with a big moment.

There’s no dramatic shift. No clear explanation. Just a quiet feeling that something isn’t quite right.

Maybe your child is more withdrawn than usual. Maybe they’re easily frustrated, or suddenly uninterested in things they used to love. Maybe conversations feel shorter, or heavier.

And as a parent, you notice.

You may not have the words for it yet — but you feel it.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we hear this often from families: “I just knew something was off.”

That instinct matters more than you think

Because when it comes to youth mental health, early awareness doesn’t just help — it can change everything.

Why Paying Attention Matters More Than Ever

Today’s children are growing up in a world that moves fast, expects more, and leaves little room to process emotions.

From academic pressure to social challenges to the constant presence of digital life, many young people are carrying more than they know how to express.

And often, they don’t say it directly.

Instead, it shows up in behavior. In mood. In silence.

Mental health challenges in youth don’t always look like what we expect. They can be subtle. Gradual. Easy to overlook especially — when life is already busy.

But here’s what we know at D’Veal:

When parents notice early and respond with care, children are far more likely to feel supported, understood, and resilient.

What “Struggling” Can Really Look Like

Every child is different. Some express emotions openly. Others hold everything in.

That’s why it’s important to look beyond obvious signs and pay attention to patterns.

Emotional Changes

Frequent sadness or irritability.
Increased anxiety or worry.
Low confidence or negative self-talk.

Behavioral Shifts

Withdrawing from family or friends.
Changes in sleep or eating habits.
More frequent frustration, anger, or shutdowns.

School and Social Indicators

Declining academic performance.
Avoiding school or activities.
Difficulty focusing or staying engaged.

These changes don’t mean your child is “failing” or “acting out.”

They are signals.

Signals that something inside may need attention, understanding, and support.

The Moment Many Parents Miss

Here’s where many families get stuck:

They wait.

They hope it’s just a phase. They tell themselves it will pass. They don’t want to overreact.

And while that instinct comes from love, it can sometimes delay the support a child truly needs.

At D’Veal, we gently remind families:

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse to start helping your child feel better.

Support doesn’t begin with a diagnosis. It begins with connection.

What Children Need Most (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

Parents often feel pressure to “fix” everything.

But the truth is, children aren’t looking for perfect solutions they’re looking for safe spaces.

Here’s what makes the biggest difference:

A Safe Place to Be Honest
Children need to know they can share how they feel without fear of judgment or punishment.
Sometimes that starts with a simple question: “How are you really feeling today?”
Someone Who Listens Without Rushing
Listening without interrupting, correcting, or solving right away builds trust.
It tells your child: “You matter. Your feelings matter.”
Validation, Not Dismissal
Instead of saying “You’re fine”, try: “That sounds really hard. I’m glad you told me.”
Validation doesn’t mean you agree — it means you understand.
Consistency and Routine
In a world that often feels unpredictable, routines create stability.
Simple things — like shared meals, bedtime conversations, or daily check-ins help children feel grounded.

As we often say at D’Veal: Presence is more powerful than perfection.

A Family Story That Reflects So Many Others

A young boy came to D’Veal after his teachers noticed he was struggling to focus and frequently shutting down in class.

At home, his parents described him as “quiet” and “just going through a phase.”

But over time, they began to notice the same patterns — withdrawal, frustration, and a growing disconnect.

Through support and family-centered care, they learned something important:

Their child wasn’t trying to be difficult. He was trying to cope.

With guidance, the family began creating space for open conversations. They built routines. They practiced listening without rushing to correct.

And slowly, things began to shift.

Not overnight — but steadily.

Today, their child is more engaged, more expressive, and more confident.

And just as importantly — the family feels closer, stronger, and more connected.

Note: This is a representative story inspired by the families D’Veal serves. Details have been adapted to protect privacy.

How D’Veal Family and Youth Services Supports Families

At D’Veal, we understand that when one child is struggling, the entire family feels it.

That’s why our approach is built around family-centered care, cultural awareness, and real-life support.

We offer:

Individual Therapy for Youth Helping children and teens build emotional awareness, coping skills, and confidence.
Family Therapy Sessions Strengthening communication, trust, and connection within the home.
Parent Coaching Giving caregivers the tools and confidence to support their child effectively.
Crisis Support Services Immediate care when families need it most.
Community Education and Resources Ensuring families have support beyond the therapy room.

Our goal is not just to treat challenges — but to help families build lasting strength and understanding.

Creating a Home That Supports Mental Wellness

You don’t need special training to support your child’s mental health.

You just need intention.

Here are a few simple ways to begin:

Start daily emotional check-ins.
Create consistent routines.
Encourage open expression through talking, art, or journaling.
Model healthy ways to handle stress.
Celebrate small wins and efforts.

These small actions build something powerful over time:

Trust.

And trust is the foundation of emotional wellness.

Final Thoughts

If something feels off, trust yourself.

You know your child better than anyone else.

And noticing those small changes? That’s not overthinking. That’s awareness.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we believe that every child deserves support before struggles become overwhelming — and every parent deserves guidance along the way.

You don’t have to have all the answers.

You just have to be willing to take the first step.

If you’ve been noticing changes in your child — or simply want to be proactive about their mental wellness — D’Veal is here for you.

Reach out today to learn how we can support your family.

www.dveal.org

(626) 796-3453