youth mental health Archives - D’Veal Family and Youth Services

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how to talk to your child about bullying

October 7, 2026

Is My Child Being Bullied? The Signs Kids Don’t Always Say Out Loud

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Here’s how to spot the quiet signs of bullying, what to say when your child finally opens up, and how to get the school and the right support on your side.

Your son used to talk the whole ride home. Lately he stares out the window. He says he has a stomachache most school mornings. His new hoodie came home with a torn sleeve, and when you asked, he shrugged and said he “fell.” Nothing he says is alarming on its own. But together, it doesn’t feel like him.

Many parents first notice bullying this way. Not because their child tells them, but because something quietly changes.

About one in five U.S. high school students said they were bullied at school in the past year, according to the CDC’s 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey. That number rose from 15% in 2021 to 19% in 2023. In middle school, it is even more common. And fewer than half of students who are bullied tell an adult at school.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we have worked with children, teens, and families across the San Gabriel Valley for more than 30 years, under the leadership of founder and CEO John McCall. This month, we want to help parents and caregivers do three things: recognize bullying when kids stay silent, respond in a way that helps, and know when it’s time to bring in more support.

What Bullying Is, and What It Isn’t

Not every unkind moment is bullying. Kids argue, tease, and hurt each other’s feelings as they learn how to be friends. A single fight or a falling-out between two kids who used to be close is painful, but it usually isn’t bullying.

The CDC describes bullying as unwanted, aggressive behavior from another young person that involves a real or perceived power imbalance and happens more than once, or is likely to keep happening. In plain words: one child, or a group, keeps using their power to hurt another child who has a hard time making it stop.

That power can come from size, popularity, or numbers. It can also come from knowing something private and threatening to share it. Bullying can look like:

Physical: hitting, shoving, tripping, or breaking someone’s things
Verbal: name-calling, mean jokes, or threats
Social: leaving someone out on purpose, spreading rumors, or turning friends against them
Online: cruel messages, embarrassing photos, or group chats built to mock one person

The difference matters. A conflict between equals often settles with time and good coaching. Bullying usually doesn’t stop on its own, because the child being targeted can’t end it by themselves.

Why Kids Don’t Tell, and the Signs to Watch For

If your child is being bullied, there’s a good chance they haven’t said so. In a national survey of students ages 12 to 18, only about 44% of those who were bullied told an adult at school. Kids stay quiet for real reasons. They may feel embarrassed. They may worry about being called a snitch, or fear things will get worse if adults step in. Some worry they will lose their phone or be told to “just ignore it.”

So instead of waiting for the words, watch for changes. Signs a child may be bullied include:

Torn, missing, or broken clothes, books, or electronics with no clear story
Bruises or scrapes they can’t or won’t explain
Frequent headaches or stomachaches, especially on school mornings
Not wanting to go to school, ride the bus, or join activities they used to enjoy
Falling grades or losing interest in schoolwork
Trouble sleeping, nightmares, or coming home very hungry because they skipped lunch
Fewer friends, or suddenly avoiding certain kids or places
Seeming upset, jumpy, or withdrawn after being online

No single sign proves bullying. These changes can also point to anxiety, depression, or something else going on. That’s the point: any lasting change in your child is worth a calm conversation.

“Kids rarely say “I’m being bullied.” They say “my stomach hurts” or “I don’t want to go.” The change is often the message.”

What if your child is the one doing the bullying?

This is hard for any parent to consider, but it’s worth an honest look. Signs can include getting into frequent fights, having friends who bully others, coming home with money or things they can’t explain, blaming others for problems, and refusing to take responsibility. Children who bully often need help too. Many are dealing with stress, anger, or problems of their own. Getting support early can change the path for everyone involved.

How to Talk With Your Child About It

Pick a calm, low-pressure moment. Car rides, walks, or cooking together often work better than a face-to-face sit-down. Instead of asking “Are you being bullied?”, try open questions:

“Who do you sit with at lunch?”
“Is there anyone at school who makes you feel bad about yourself?”
“What’s the best and worst part of your day lately?”

If your child opens up, your first reaction matters most. Stay calm, even if you feel angry inside. Thank them for telling you. Let them know it is not their fault and that they don’t have to handle it alone.

Try not to promise you’ll keep it secret, and try not to rush to fix it in the first five minutes. Ask what they want to happen. Kids are more likely to keep talking when they feel included in the plan.

A few things tend to backfire. Telling a child to “just ignore it” can make them feel dismissed. Telling them to fight back can put them at risk or get them disciplined. And contacting the other child’s parents directly can make things more heated. It’s usually better to go through the school.

When Bullying Follows Them Home: Cyberbullying

For many kids, bullying doesn’t end when the school bell rings. More than one in six high school students said they were bullied electronically in the past year, through texts, social media, or group chats. Online bullying can feel inescapable because it lives on the phone in their pocket, and cruel posts can spread fast.
If your child is being bullied online:

Don’t respond or retaliate. Replies often make it worse.
Save the evidence. Take screenshots before anything gets deleted.
Block and report. Most apps and games have tools to block users and report harassment.
Tell the school if it involves classmates. Online bullying often spills into the school day.

It’s natural to want to take the phone away. But many kids hide online bullying because they fear exactly that. Try to make it clear that telling you will lead to help, not punishment.

When Talking It Through Isn’t Enough

Bullying doesn’t just hurt in the moment. The CDC notes it raises a child’s risk for depression, anxiety, sleep problems, lower grades, and dropping out of school. Even after the bullying stops, some kids keep carrying the fear, shame, or sadness it left behind.

It may be time to reach out for professional support if your child:

Still seems sad, anxious, or withdrawn weeks after the bullying stopped
Keeps refusing to go to school
Has trouble sleeping or eating, or has pulled away from friends and family
Says things like “everyone would be better off without me,” or talks about hurting themselves

If your child talks about not wanting to live, take it seriously every time. Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and available 24/7. If you believe your child is in immediate danger, call 911.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services provides individual and family counseling, crisis intervention and prevention, and school-based mental health services for children and youth ages 0 to 20. We meet families where they are, in homes, schools, and community settings throughout the San Gabriel Valley. We can help a child rebuild confidence after bullying. We can also help a child who has been hurting others learn new ways to handle big feelings, and help parents feel steady through all of it.

“Worried about bullying or how your child is coping? D’Veal Family and Youth Services is here to help. Call (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org. In a crisis, call or text 988 anytime.”

Want to help more San Gabriel Valley kids feel safe and supported? Visit the donate section at dveal.org to give.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my child is being bullied or just having a conflict with a friend?

Bullying is repeated and involves a power imbalance, where one child or group keeps using their size, popularity, or numbers to hurt someone who can't easily make it stop. A one-time fight or a falling-out between equals is painful, but it usually isn't bullying.

What are the most common signs a child is being bullied?

Common signs include damaged or missing belongings, unexplained injuries, frequent stomachaches or headaches, not wanting to go to school, falling grades, trouble sleeping, and pulling away from friends. Many kids never say they're being bullied, so changes in behavior are often the first clue.

Should I contact the other child's parents?

It's usually better to go through the school first. Contacting the other family directly can make things more heated. The school can investigate, set up a safety plan, and involve the other family in a structured way.

What are California schools required to do about bullying?

Under California's Seth's Law, public school districts must have an anti-bullying policy and a complaint process, staff must step in when they see bullying and it's safe to do so, and students must be protected from retaliation for reporting. Parents can ask for the district's policy and file a complaint through the Uniform Complaint Procedure.

When should my child see a counselor after being bullied?

Consider professional support if your child still seems sad, anxious, or withdrawn weeks later, refuses school, or has trouble sleeping or eating. If your child talks about hurting themselves, call or text 988 right away. D'Veal Family and Youth Services can be reached at (626) 296-8900.

By enrique

A mother and son walking together outside on a neighborhood path, talking side by side.

Publications

September 28, 2026

Building a Safety Net: Everyday Ways to Support Your Child Before a Crisis Hits

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services

You don’t have to be in the middle of a crisis to start protecting your child’s mental health. In fact, most of what actually helps happens on the ordinary days — the car rides, the dinners, the ten minutes before bed — long before anything feels like an emergency.

That’s the idea behind a “safety net.” It isn’t one big gesture. It’s a handful of small, repeatable habits that make your child more likely to come to you when something is wrong, and more able to handle hard feelings without carrying them alone. Here are six that make a real difference.

Connection Before Correction

When your child does something frustrating, it’s tempting to lead with the lecture. Try leading with connection instead. A simple “Rough day?” before you get into the missed homework or the messy room tells your child that you see them as a person first, and a problem to solve second.

This matters more than it sounds like it should. Kids who feel consistently connected to a parent — even an imperfect, busy, distracted parent are more likely to bring you the hard stuff instead of hiding it. Connection isn’t a reward for good behavior. It’s the foundation everything else stands on.

Predictable Routines Lower the Temperature

Kids, and especially anxious or struggling kids, do better when they know what’s coming next. A consistent bedtime, a regular after-school routine, even a Sunday night check-in — these aren’t rigid rules. They’re a kind of quiet reassurance that says, “This part of your life is stable, even when other parts feel shaky.”

You don’t need to overhaul your household to get this benefit. Pick one or two routines and protect them. A predictable rhythm at home gives your child’s nervous system fewer things to manage at once.

“A stable routine doesn’t prevent every hard day. It gives your child something steady to come back to after one.”

Make Feelings Part of Ordinary Conversation

A lot of families only talk about feelings after something has gone wrong. Try building it into ordinary moments instead. At dinner, ask, “What was the best part of your day, and what was the hardest part?” In the car, ask, “Anything on your mind today?” and then actually wait for the answer instead of filling the silence.

When feelings come up casually and often, they stop feeling like a big, scary topic that only gets addressed in a crisis. Your child learns that emotions, even uncomfortable ones, are something your family talks about, not something to hide until they become too big to manage alone.

Notice the Wins Out Loud

It’s easy to notice when something goes wrong and stay quiet when things go right. Flip that ratio when you can. “I noticed you texted your friend back even though you were tired” or “You handled that disagreement with your sister really well” tells your child you’re paying attention to more than their mistakes.

This isn’t about empty praise. It’s about specific, genuine noticing. Kids who feel seen for their effort, not just their results, build more confidence in their ability to handle hard things which matters a great deal when a genuinely hard thing eventually shows up.

Eat Together When You Can

Family dinner sounds almost too simple to matter, but it does. A shared meal, phones set aside, gives your child a low-pressure moment to be around you without it feeling like a formal check-in. You don’t need a full sit-down meal every night. Even a few minutes of undistracted time at the table adds up.

What makes this protective isn’t the food. It’s the repetition. A regular, predictable moment of connection each week gives your child more chances to mention something small before it becomes something big.

“The small, boring, repeated moments are usually doing more protective work than the big, planned conversations.”

Know Your Family’s Plan Before You Need It

Every family should know two things before they need them: how to ask a direct question if you’re worried about your child, and who to call if things escalate. Save 988 in your phone now, so you’re not searching for it in a moment of panic. Know that D’Veal Family and Youth Services offers individual and family counseling if your family wants support before things reach a crisis point.

Having a plan isn’t pessimistic. It’s the same reason you know where the fire extinguisher is even though you hope you never need it. Most families never need to use this plan in an emergency. But every family benefits from having one.

When Everyday Habits Aren’t Enough

These six habits build real protection over time, but they aren’t a substitute for professional support when your child needs more than connection and routine can provide. If your child’s mood, sleep, or behavior has changed significantly and isn’t improving, or if you’ve had a conversation that revealed thoughts of suicide, it’s time to bring in more than a safety net built at home.

D’Veal Family and Youth Services provides individual and family counseling, crisis intervention and prevention, and school-based mental health services for children and youth ages 0–20, delivered in homes, schools, and community settings throughout the San Gabriel Valley. You don’t need a crisis to reach out. Building the safety net is exactly the kind of work we’re here to help with, too.

“If you’re worried about your child right now, call or text 988. For ongoing support, reach D’Veal Family and Youth Services at (626) 296-8900 or dveal.org. “

To help D’Veal keep showing up for families like these, visit the donate section at dveal.org.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are protective factors in youth mental health?

Protective factors are the everyday conditions that lower a young person's risk of a mental health crisis — things like a strong connection with a parent, predictable routines, open conversation about feelings, and knowing how to ask for help. They work best when built before a crisis, not during one.

How often should families talk about feelings to build this habit?

There's no fixed number, but weaving it into daily moments — dinner, car rides, bedtime — works better than one big scheduled talk. Little and often builds more trust than rare and formal.

Does family dinner really make a difference for mental health?

Yes, though it's the regular connection it creates, not the meal itself, that matters. A short, phone-free dinner a few times a week gives kids a low-pressure opening to mention something small before it grows into something bigger.

What should our family's safety plan include?

At minimum, save 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in your phone, know how to ask a direct question if you're worried about your child, and know who you'd call for ongoing support, such as D'Veal Family and Youth Services at (626) 296-8900.

When should we move from these everyday habits to professional support?

If your child's mood, sleep, or behavior changes significantly and doesn't improve, or if a conversation reveals thoughts of suicide, reach out to a professional right away rather than relying on home habits alone. You can call D'Veal at (626) 296-8900 or visit dveal.org.

By enrique

Parent and child sitting together having a supportive conversation at home

Family SupportParentingPublicationsYouth Mental Health

April 24, 2026

When “Something Feels Off”: A Parent’s Guide to Recognizing and Supporting Youth Mental Health

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services

Introduction

Sometimes, it doesn’t start with a big moment.

There’s no dramatic shift. No clear explanation. Just a quiet feeling that something isn’t quite right.

Maybe your child is more withdrawn than usual. Maybe they’re easily frustrated, or suddenly uninterested in things they used to love. Maybe conversations feel shorter, or heavier.

And as a parent, you notice.

You may not have the words for it yet — but you feel it.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we hear this often from families: “I just knew something was off.”

That instinct matters more than you think

Because when it comes to youth mental health, early awareness doesn’t just help — it can change everything.

Why Paying Attention Matters More Than Ever

Today’s children are growing up in a world that moves fast, expects more, and leaves little room to process emotions.

From academic pressure to social challenges to the constant presence of digital life, many young people are carrying more than they know how to express.

And often, they don’t say it directly.

Instead, it shows up in behavior. In mood. In silence.

Mental health challenges in youth don’t always look like what we expect. They can be subtle. Gradual. Easy to overlook especially — when life is already busy.

But here’s what we know at D’Veal:

When parents notice early and respond with care, children are far more likely to feel supported, understood, and resilient.

What “Struggling” Can Really Look Like

Every child is different. Some express emotions openly. Others hold everything in.

That’s why it’s important to look beyond obvious signs and pay attention to patterns.

Emotional Changes

Frequent sadness or irritability.
Increased anxiety or worry.
Low confidence or negative self-talk.

Behavioral Shifts

Withdrawing from family or friends.
Changes in sleep or eating habits.
More frequent frustration, anger, or shutdowns.

School and Social Indicators

Declining academic performance.
Avoiding school or activities.
Difficulty focusing or staying engaged.

These changes don’t mean your child is “failing” or “acting out.”

They are signals.

Signals that something inside may need attention, understanding, and support.

The Moment Many Parents Miss

Here’s where many families get stuck:

They wait.

They hope it’s just a phase. They tell themselves it will pass. They don’t want to overreact.

And while that instinct comes from love, it can sometimes delay the support a child truly needs.

At D’Veal, we gently remind families:

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse to start helping your child feel better.

Support doesn’t begin with a diagnosis. It begins with connection.

What Children Need Most (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

Parents often feel pressure to “fix” everything.

But the truth is, children aren’t looking for perfect solutions they’re looking for safe spaces.

Here’s what makes the biggest difference:

A Safe Place to Be Honest
Children need to know they can share how they feel without fear of judgment or punishment.
Sometimes that starts with a simple question: “How are you really feeling today?”
Someone Who Listens Without Rushing
Listening without interrupting, correcting, or solving right away builds trust.
It tells your child: “You matter. Your feelings matter.”
Validation, Not Dismissal
Instead of saying “You’re fine”, try: “That sounds really hard. I’m glad you told me.”
Validation doesn’t mean you agree — it means you understand.
Consistency and Routine
In a world that often feels unpredictable, routines create stability.
Simple things — like shared meals, bedtime conversations, or daily check-ins help children feel grounded.

As we often say at D’Veal: Presence is more powerful than perfection.

A Family Story That Reflects So Many Others

A young boy came to D’Veal after his teachers noticed he was struggling to focus and frequently shutting down in class.

At home, his parents described him as “quiet” and “just going through a phase.”

But over time, they began to notice the same patterns — withdrawal, frustration, and a growing disconnect.

Through support and family-centered care, they learned something important:

Their child wasn’t trying to be difficult. He was trying to cope.

With guidance, the family began creating space for open conversations. They built routines. They practiced listening without rushing to correct.

And slowly, things began to shift.

Not overnight — but steadily.

Today, their child is more engaged, more expressive, and more confident.

And just as importantly — the family feels closer, stronger, and more connected.

Note: This is a representative story inspired by the families D’Veal serves. Details have been adapted to protect privacy.

How D’Veal Family and Youth Services Supports Families

At D’Veal, we understand that when one child is struggling, the entire family feels it.

That’s why our approach is built around family-centered care, cultural awareness, and real-life support.

We offer:

Individual Therapy for Youth Helping children and teens build emotional awareness, coping skills, and confidence.
Family Therapy Sessions Strengthening communication, trust, and connection within the home.
Parent Coaching Giving caregivers the tools and confidence to support their child effectively.
Crisis Support Services Immediate care when families need it most.
Community Education and Resources Ensuring families have support beyond the therapy room.

Our goal is not just to treat challenges — but to help families build lasting strength and understanding.

Creating a Home That Supports Mental Wellness

You don’t need special training to support your child’s mental health.

You just need intention.

Here are a few simple ways to begin:

Start daily emotional check-ins.
Create consistent routines.
Encourage open expression through talking, art, or journaling.
Model healthy ways to handle stress.
Celebrate small wins and efforts.

These small actions build something powerful over time:

Trust.

And trust is the foundation of emotional wellness.

Final Thoughts

If something feels off, trust yourself.

You know your child better than anyone else.

And noticing those small changes? That’s not overthinking. That’s awareness.

At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we believe that every child deserves support before struggles become overwhelming — and every parent deserves guidance along the way.

You don’t have to have all the answers.

You just have to be willing to take the first step.

If you’ve been noticing changes in your child — or simply want to be proactive about their mental wellness — D’Veal is here for you.

Reach out today to learn how we can support your family.

www.dveal.org

(626) 796-3453

Support Our Mission

Your support helps us provide essential services to children, youth, and families in our communities.

Donate today and help us continue this life-changing work.

Together, we can create a future where every child feels seen, supported, and strong.

By Inger Douglas

Multigenerational family walking through a sunny park holding hands and smiling

Publications

January 19, 2026

New Year, New Hope: Starting 2026 with Mental Wellness at Home

By D’Veal Family and Youth Services Communications Team
Published: January 9, 2026

A Fresh Start Rooted in Family Healing

As we step into a brand new year, many of us feel a quiet call to do things differently—to grow, to reconnect, and to build stronger, healthier homes. At D’Veal Family and Youth Services, we believe that healing doesn’t start in a therapist’s office alone. It begins at the kitchen table, in the morning routines, and in the loving moments between caregivers and children.

2026 presents more than a date on the calendar. It brings with it the opportunity to pause, re-center, and prioritize what truly matters: mental wellness at home. We’re not talking about setting rigid resolutions or chasing perfection. We’re talking about building everyday habits that nurture emotional strength and deepen family connection.

Because when a family is well, the entire community grows stronger.

Why January is a Mental Health Reset for Families

The start of the year often comes with both hope and emotional heaviness. The holidays can stir joy but also stress, grief, and financial strain. Children and teens, in particular, may feel overstimulated, disconnected from routine, or anxious about returning to school.

That’s why January is the perfect time to check in—not just with your goals, but with your feelings. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the winter months can increase symptoms of anxiety and depression, especially among youth. At D’Veal, we recognize that these shifts in energy and emotion aren’t just seasonal quirks. They’re signs. Invitations to slow down and invest in emotional well-being.

By making mental health a family priority early in the year, you’re creating space for resilience, stability, and togetherness that lasts far beyond January.

Everyday Ways to Nurture Mental Health at Home

Mental wellness doesn’t require dramatic change. The most powerful healing often begins with small, intentional steps. Here are some family-centered practices you can try this month:

Start the Morning with Heart Rather than jumping into commands, pause and connect:

“How are you feeling today?” “Anything you’re excited or nervous about?”

This emotional check-in teaches children that their inner world matters and creates emotional safety before the day even begins.

Create a Peaceful Space Whether it’s a reading nook, a “calm corner,” or a shared spot on the couch—dedicate a space for winding down. Let your child personalize it with favorite books, music, or comfort items. It signals that home is a refuge.

Rebuild Rituals & Routines After the unpredictable energy of the holidays, kids crave structure. Simple routines—consistent bedtimes, shared meals, and tech-free hours can bring deep emotional stability. These daily rituals anchor your family in predictability and care.

Celebrate the Everyday Victories Did your child try something new? Help a sibling? Show kindness? Celebrate it. Reinforce the behavior you want to see with warmth and recognition, not just when it’s perfect but when it reflects effort and growth.

Reconnect with Culture and Tradition Honor your family’s roots. Whether it’s cooking ancestral meals, playing traditional music, or storytelling—these cultural rituals ground children in identity, pride, and resilience. At D’Veal, we champion culturally rooted healing because we know how vital it is to well-being.

What Sets D’Veal Apart

For over 30 years, D’Veal Family and Youth Services has stood as a trusted, culturally responsive mental health partner for families across Southern California. We understand the emotional landscape families navigate today. And we know how to guide you through it—with respect, with skill, and with compassion.

Our clinicians and care teams don’t just offer services. We offer solutions rooted in cultural competence, empathy, and lived experience. Whether you’re facing behavioral challenges at school, emotional withdrawal at home, or the everyday pressures of parenting—we walk with you.

Because mental health isn’t just a clinical issue. It’s a community one. And our mission is to build stronger families to uplift stronger communities.

D’Veal Services: Built to Empower

Our holistic programs include:

Individual & Family Counseling: Tailored support for children, teens, and their families facing anxiety, behavioral challenges, grief, or trauma.
Parent Coaching & Support Groups: Empowering caregivers with tools to strengthen relationships and respond to their child’s needs with confidence.
Crisis Intervention Services: Providing rapid response and support during mental health emergencies.
School-Based Behavioral Health: Bringing mental wellness directly into schools for accessible, stigma-free support.

We don’t just treat symptoms. We build understanding. We foster healing. We create change.

A Family-Centered Vision for 2026

Let 2026 be the year we say:

“Mental wellness is not a luxury. It’s essential.”
“We can create emotionally safe homes.”
“We are not alone on this journey.”

At D’Veal, we believe in meeting families where they are—with culturally responsive care, deep compassion, and a community-rooted approach to mental wellness.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

If your child is struggling—or if you are struggling to support them, you are not failing. You’re human. And there is help.

Reach out to D’Veal and discover how our family-focused services can offer the support, guidance, and resources your home needs.

Call us at (626) 796-3453

**Explore services at **www.dveal.org

Serving families across Southern California with dignity, warmth, and trust

Help Us Empower More Families

When you support D’Veal, you help fund therapy sessions, school wellness initiatives, cultural events, and outreach programs that bring healing where it’s needed most.

**Make your 2026 gift today at **www.dveal.org/donate

Together, we can make this year a turning point for thousands of children and caregivers. Because healing starts at home.

By Shai McCall